Changes

It’s funny how I can stay exactly where I am and yet things are changing. Maybe I’m getting too comfortable, maybe I’m plain chicken or maybe I’m just becoming lazy. The thought of change is pretty scary. Oh no, is this me?

I think God is dragging/pushing/throwing me out of my comfort zone. He knows what I am thinking. He knows my every thought. If he doesn’t do that, I could lose myself. I knew this could happen. This is why sometimes I’m just so afraid of the kind of job I’ll take. I could get so use to a job that I’m not crazy about (but could live with) and stick with it for the rest of my life because I become too comfortable for a change. What if I even forgo my dream…

Too soon

I can't believe I'm...the age I am now. It's December again. It's 2005 in a few weeks. I used to think that that is light years away.

Am I looking forward to the next year? I guess it's pretty difficult to explain my thoughts right now. The fact that I must be working from next year, it's really going to be different. I mean, it's not like I've never work before but this is different; this is for life....ok, more of until I retire...but...well, just a few things on my mind. I just have to trust God that He'll guide me through.

One exiciting week!

Last week has been a pretty hectic but truly exciting week for me. My church drama production was held for 3 days, Friday to Sunday. We had 3 rehearsals within the same week. On top of that, I was also attending the Planetshakers Conference at Sunway Convention Centre-hehe free-someone blessed me. Other than the day sessions (erm, yea I’m not working yet), there were also the 3 nights of concert. Since I had drama rehearsal on Wednesday and the real thing on Friday, I manage to attend the Thursday night concert! It was awesome. I also had the opportunity to be the camera person for that night’s concert and also during the morning sessions! So bless! The only problem was probably the VCD recorded. Somehow, from the video mixer to the recorder, there was a long delayed and most camera shots were like swinging everywhere. It definitely didn’t look like that on the screen that night! ;p

2 things really caught my attention during the conference. One was to ask just God for what I truly want. Sam Evans was illustrating this by offering RM100 to anyone who wants it. No, I didn’t take it. Someone else did. She asked us why many of us didn’t dare take it from her. Fear? Felt that we didn’t deserve it? Aiks!!

The other thing was during a workshop when Henry Seeley, or was it Mike who said it? OK, never mind, heard it from the front. (It always happens to me; I usually remember the message and forget the speaker!) He said something like it’s not about the skills but the heart that God looks at. Holy Spirit comes during the worship not because they are Planetshakers but because there is true worship. Wow, such an honour to serve with real true worshippers who are also such humble people.

As for the drama production in church, it was an exciting 3 nights. I was also part of the crew. For this event, I had the opportunity to serve as the FOH sound person. One of our crew member’s sister accepted Christ after the event!
I think I slept quite little for the whole week. Hehehe. But it is so great being able to serve. I mean for someone who’s not too smart and intelligent, I think God has made me quite useful. Haha. Never imagine I could be part so many great things. The joy I had is not really easy to explain, I guess you just have to experience it yourself! :)

What stood out for me on Sunday morning sermon was the verse, 1 Cor 1:27 But God chose the foolish things in the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things in the world to shame the strong.
Just thinking of what I was before and what I have been able to do so far, truly reminds me it is not me or my ability but God. I felt that He wanted to remind me that I shall never allow pride any space in my life. Last thing I want is God having to do something to humble me. Yikes!